The only way to move forward and reach your goals or dreams is to do it yourself. If you’re stuck or lacking confidence, you might find it helpful to examine the voice within your head, which is always nattering at a low volume like a radio playing in the background. Does that radio station keep playing critical songs like “I’m a Failure,” “I’m a Fake,” and “I’m Lazy”? Maybe it’s time to change the station and realize how much you sabotage yourself with negative self-talk.

You looked in the mirror, and you gained five pounds> You needed to pull your tummy in to fasten your jeans this morning—not great – but not the end of the world either. Seize the opportunity to look inside for a greater understanding of why you might have overindulged. Did you seek solace in food and extra wine to deal with deep pain around _________________(fill in the blank – a breakup, parent’s divorce, pandemic, job loss, etc.)

Painful losses are a fact of life, but our culture is uncomfortable with expressions of grief. We divert our focus to indulging—perhaps food, gambling, drugs, alcohol, and even self-harm. These are all expressions of the deep pain we carry and our attempt not to be present or to escape facing reality.

What if, going forward, you created a hotshot lawyer or counselor to rebut all the horrible things you tell yourself? Imagine this lawyer/counselor advising:  “Yes, you gained five pounds as a coping tool to deal with your loss, but you are now learning other tools to help you cope with the sadness, pain, or discomfort these events caused you.”

Give “your” lawyer/counselor a name and trust him or her to look after you and protect you from that internal voice that undermines you in so many of your endeavors. It’s a way to move forward into wellness.