To realize your new year’s resolutions you may need to examine the voice within your head which is always nattering at a low volume like a radio playing in the background. Does that radio station keep playing sad songs like “I’m a Failure” “I’m a Fake” and “I’m Lazy”? Well maybe it’s time to change the station. Realize, you do sabotage yourself with negative self talk.

You look in the mirror and you gained 5 pounds over the holidays – not great – but not the end of the world either. Seize the opportunity to look within and get a greater understanding of why you overindulged. Did you seek solace in food and extra wine to deal with the deep pain around _________________(fill in the blank – a break up, parent’s divorce, job loss etc.)

Painful losses are a fact of life, but our culture is uncomfortable with expressions of grief, so we divert our focus to food, gambling, drugs, alcohol and often self-mutilation. These are all expression of the deep pain we carry and our attempt  to not be present, to escape.

What if for 2014 you created a kick ass lawyer or counselor to rebut all the horrible things you tell yourself ? Imagine this lawyer/counselor advising:  “Yes you gained 5 pounds as a coping tool to deal with your parent’s death or other, but you are now learning other tools to help you deal with the deep pain and discomfort these events caused you”.

Give lawyer/counselor a name and trust him or her to look after you and protect  you from that nasty voice that undermines you in so many of  your endeavors. It’s time to dare to dream.

To help you deal with your losses, I can recommend you visit us at our grief site.

The Bach flower remedy to help you with this is Cherry plum  . Take 2 drops three times a day for three days. Let me know how you are doing. Your progress is important!