To move forward and reach your goals or dreams, you find it helpful to examine the voice within your head which is always nattering at a low volume like a radio playing in the background. Does that radio station keep playing critical songs like “I’m a Failure” “I’m a Fake” and “I’m Lazy”? Well, maybe it’s time to change the station and realize how much you sabotage yourself with negative self talk.

You look in the mirror and you gained five pounds—not great – but not the end of the world either. Seize the opportunity to look inside for a greater understanding of why you overindulged. Did you seek solace in food and extra wine to deal with the deep pain around _________________(fill in the blank – a break up, parent’s divorce, pandemic job loss, etc.)

Painful losses are a fact of life, but our culture is uncomfortable with expressions of grief. We divert our focus to indulging—perhaps food, gambling, drugs, alcohol and even self-harm. These are all expression of the deep pain we carry and our attempt to not be present or to escape facing reality.

What if, going forward, you created a hotshot lawyer or counselor to rebut all the horrible things you tell yourself ? Imagine this lawyer/counselor advising:  “Yes you gained five pounds as a coping tool to deal with your loss, but you are now learning other tools to help you cope with the sadness, pain, or discomfort these events caused you.”

Give “your” lawyer/counselor a name and trust him or her to look after you and protect you from that internal voice that undermines you in so many of  your endeavors. It’s a way to move forward into wellness.